Everyone Gets a Reservation
Photo 2024 Palm Court at The Plaza Hotel, New York City
Somewhere, right now, a woman is booking everyone’s travel reservations.
The dinner for six, making sure the menu meets everyone’s approval. The tickets for the kids at the museum designed to entertain. The tour her partner raved about seeing on TV. The table by the window, because her mother likes the view.
Reservations are how we tell the world what we want and ask it to hold a place for us. We make them easily for everyone we love. But when it comes to making a reservation in our own name, why do we hesitate? Is it too much to ask? Too indulgent? Not what this trip is about?
A trip shared with people you love does not have to be one where your wishes disappear. Everyone can get a reservation, including you.
Question: Your name is on every reservation. But whose wishes are behind them?
Signs Your Reservation Keeps Getting Bumped
Do any of these feel familiar?
You know exactly what you want to see, and it is the first thing you offer up when the schedule gets tight.
You make the itinerary work for everyone, and your wish lands in the “if there’s time” column.
Your must-see becomes “next time” more often than anyone else’s.
You speak up for everyone’s preferences, then wait for the right moment to mention yours.
You come home from a trip you planned beautifully, and the one thing you wanted is still on your list.
Intentional Travel: Your Wishes Belong on the List
Many women are wonderful at noticing the needs of others. We notice who is tired, who is hungry or “hangry”, who is bored, and who needs a break before they know it themselves. That noticing can be both a gift and a burden. It is also what makes us the person everyone wants to travel with.
But somewhere along the way, we stop noticing our own needs. We track how everyone else is doing and forget to ask ourselves how we are doing.
The question worth sitting with is not whether you care about the people you travel with. Of course you do. It is whether your needs ever make it onto the list alongside everyone else’s.
Intentional travel does not mean traveling alone or putting yourself first at everyone else’s expense. It means naming what you want, out loud, and letting the trip make room for it. When everyone gets a reservation, no one’s has to get bumped.
Ways to Make Your Reservation Without Guilt
Name your wish before you go. Before the trip, ask everyone to name one thing they want to do or see, and say yours out loud too. Going first makes it easier for everyone, including you.
Put your wish on the itinerary. Give it a day and a time, the way you would any other reservation. A wish without a time slot is the first thing to get bumped.
Create a rhythm of together and apart. Agree on what you will always share, like one meal a day, and let the rest of the time be yours. On my family’s beach trips, every night means a shared dinner and the days belong to each of us.
Trade reservations with kids. Their pick, then yours. They may surprise you: my 7-year-old nephew grumbled about dressing up for dinner on the 96th floor overlooking the Chicago skyline, and now it is one of his favorite restaurant memories.
Let anyone cancel without guilt, including you. A reservation is an invitation, not an obligation. Staying in when you are tired is a reservation too.
Postcard Confession: Four Women, Four Reservations
Postcard Confession
Four Women, Four Reservations
My mom, my sister, our best friend (our sister from another mother), and I took a trip to New York City to celebrate my mom beating cancer, matching “beat cancer” shirts and all. Before we went, we each named the one thing we most wanted to do. The group would make room for all of it, and anyone could choose to skip and let the others go.
I wanted the Empire State Building. My mom wanted the Radio City Rockettes Christmas Spectacular. My sister wanted the 9/11 Memorial & Museum. Our friend wanted to visit the Diamond District.
From the top of the Empire State Building at night, the whole city shone below us, and I could not stop admiring the art deco design of that gorgeous skyscraper.
The Rockettes’ kick line, dressed as Toy Soldiers, brought smiles to our faces, a performance that has dazzled audiences for close to a century.
At the 9/11 Memorial & Museum, reflection and silence brought a different kind of awe: for the lives that were lost, and for the people who ran toward danger to save others.
The Diamond District sparkled, and I came home with a souvenir I had not planned: art deco style earrings.
We did every one of them together. Four very different wishes, four very different women, and somehow, room for all of it.
Seeing everything was never the point of this trip. Being together was. We crossed off the sights we did not have time for, chose time with each other instead, and still came home with memories we cherish.
On our last evening, my mom was tired and chose to rest. She did not want to go out to dinner, so instead of pushing through for everyone else, she stayed in. The three of us ventured out into the cold and enjoyed a delicious slice of New York pizza on 7th Avenue.
That night taught me something I keep coming back to. A reservation is not only what you ask for. It is also permission to cancel when your body tells you to.
Photo 2024 - Macy’s
New York City
Awe Intention
On your next trip, notice the moment you are inside the thing you asked for. Not the plan you made for someone else. Yours. Let yourself stay there without rushing to what comes next.
And notice when awe finds you in someone else’s reservation too. In New York City, some of my most moving moments came from wishes that were not mine.
What is one reservation you want to make for yourself on your next trip? Share it in the comments. Your answer might give someone else permission to make hers.
Resources for Your Next Departure
A reservation for yourself starts before you leave. Your out-of-office message is the first boundary you set before every trip, and it protects the time that is yours. The free OOO Guide helps you write one that works hard enough that nobody needs to bother you while you are gone: https://knowdistanceco.myflodesk.com/ooo
If you would like guides like these, event invitations, and special offers in your inbox, join the Know Distance list: https://knowdistanceco.myflodesk.com/join
Travel does not restore you because of where you go. It restores you because of what you bring to it and what you allow yourself to receive.
Au revoir, y’all!
Amanda
